Learning to drive. Or not.

So this is a rant. Sorry.

I hate driving. I hate it so much. I think that it is quite possibly the number one thing that I hate the most on this Earth.

So obviously it's the one thing that my entire family is convinced that I need to learn how to do, and if I don't then "your life is ruined and you'll never go far".

Yay life.

I tried. Oh God help me I tried. But at even the thought of getting behind the wheel of a car I get all tense and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I did ten hours (ten tortuously long hours) of driving lessons and then I had a breakdown. In a restaurant. Surrounded by my family. Because they were asking me about it.

I just broke down completely and my mother had to help me leave the restaurant. And now my family likes to tease me, and prod me, and try to convince me that I should try again. "It's not that bad" they say. "I'm sure you're better at it then you think you are" they tell me.

Maybe I am. But I don't want to learn. And I won't. I am never getting behind the wheel of a car again, no way in hell. Because it's torture, and when I'm behind that wheel of death I can't relax and all I can think about is what if I kill someone, what if I kill myself, what if I have an accident and hurt myself or someone else. What if, what if, what if.

It's not worth the nightmare, the lack of sleep, and the illness. I'll walk, or take public transport, thank you very much.

Some random dude my mother and I met at one of her friends house was really snobby to me about that. He told my mother that she should stop picking me up at the train station when I come home to visit, and never bring me anywhere so that I could "learn the importance of knowing how to drive". I said fine. No problem. I've walked from the station to home before. And when I go from my dads to my mums or vice versa I always walk.

Mock me, and laugh at me if you want. I'll not drive.

Besides my mum was on my side there. My family can pick and prod all they like, but outsiders can stay out. Call it solidarity if you will.

Life in an American movie

Sometimes when I watch an American movie I feel like I might choke on the cheesiness.
Other times I feel jealous.

In a regular blockbuster American movie bad things only happen to bad people, and good people always win. Life seems easier, more simple.

It's mostly really cheesy though. And if you're not American sometimes it can be little annoying (by this I mostly mean that American films sometimes forget that other countries apart from the US exist. That and villains aren't always either Russian or British).

I've never been to the States but my brother has, and he says that life does seem like a movie there. It must be the state of mind of the people there.

He says it was great anyway, and now he wants to live there. My cousin wants to live in the states too. And I have family that lives there too (in Boston and New York). America is still an attractive place.

I really want to visit Chicago because that's where Starkid is (if you don't know what Starkid is, look it up. You won't regret it).

Only to visit though, I don't think I would like to live in the US. I'm happy enough in Europe. I like Europe, it's my home.

The Family

The Family is what my cousin and I call our shared relations. For some reason we enjoy making our shared family sound like some sort of Irish mafia. Go figure.

The Family. You know I can't even remember when we started calling them that? It just sort of happened.

I love my family very much. But I don't always like some of the members.
Family is a funny thing. It's funny because it's the one thing that you can love to itty bitty pieces, and at the same time, hate with a fiery burning passion.

Family. The word basically means a love-hate relationship.

How to explain the Family. Pretty regular I'd imagine. Pretty decent. But we talk. Oh boy do we talk. The competition is especially fierce between the sisters, that is to say my mother and aunts. And what are their chess pieces? Well my dearies those chess pieces would be their children.

It's hard to explain this without making them seem like horrible human beings. They aren't. They're lovely really. They just try and convince each other quietly, discreetly, subtly, that "my child is better than yours. Nah!"

What's funny is I don't think that they realise that they do it. Funny but also annoying sometimes. Especially when one of the chess pieces actually believes that they are the best and rubs it into your face.

It's always like that in these situations. You either end up believing you're some sort of demi-god, or you can't sleep at night because your going to fail everyone/have failed everyone.

Guess where I fit in.

Basically I'd say that the Family lives in a perpetual state of competition. And it's annoying as fuck.

Getting caught out in the rain

I got caught out in the rain today when I was walking my dog. When I set out the weather was fine and after walking for about ten minutes WOOSH a rain shower.

Needless to say I got completely soaked and so did the dog. We both ended up running home for cover (too late) and then stood in the doorway dripping while my mam (my french grandmother) laughed at us.

I looked like a drowned rat.

To give you an idea of how soaked I was, I had just dried my hair after a shower, went out to walk the dog, and then I had to dry my hair again. It was as if I had just walked out of the shower in the first place.

I wasn't upset though not really. If I'd been unable to come home and change then yes I would have been pissed, but this was almost fun.

It's not like I had to worry about anyone seeing me. And I wasn't intending on going out.

So it's all good. It's been a good christmas, better than it usually is for me.

Christmas dinner

Christmas dinner. So much food, for so little people. Yummy yummy food.

My dad stole a canapé by distracting my Grandmother shouting "look at that beautiful sunset". It was pitch black outside, and had been for a while. We all looked. Either my dad is a genius or we're just all very dim.

No turkey here it' all seafood (not that I would even eat turkey if there was some. I don't eat meat), so we have a table full of shrimp, and smoked salmon, and some tuna and lots and lot of other delicious things to eat.

There's also sausage and meat (yuck) for my dad and the rest of the family.

And to make things even better there are cartoons and kids films on the TV. All the good stuff basically.

And just in case I can't come back before Christmas, I hope you all have a good one! xx

Surviving the Apocalypse

Oh and as a sidenote I see that apparently we all survived the Apocalypse. That was anticlimactic I have to say.

Say hello to the Atlantic

My brother, my dad and I have arrived home. It took about 11 hours in a small car filled to the brim with stuff (mostly theirs oddly enough), and with a dog to get there. It was a long and boring trip, and I hate being in the car for that long.

But hey it was so worth it. Because now I can see the sea, and when I can't see it I can still smell it, or even taste it when the wind is blowing.


I'm home again.

And I feel pretty good, considering that I'm pretty sure I've failed all my exams, and one of my closest friends and I had a bit of a falling out, and I'm still tired all the time.

Still. Everything feels ok here. I should never leave. Seriously though.

Funny thing? My dad always says the same. Makes you wonder why we live where we live when we all hate it so much.

One of life's mysteries I guess.

Miniature cliffs made of sand.I almost fell in the water when I stood too close to the edge and it collapsed under my weight. Thank God for my ninja skills of jumping backwards.

Pogo rolling in the sand after swimming in the sea. Look at that guilty look on his face! Even he knows that he's going to need to be cleaned up.