A few weeks ago I had my very first major exam in law.
And as the title of this text post will tell you, I didn't do so well.
I failed, with only 25%. And it's not a pleasant feeling I can tell you that.
Anyways I held out until the end of the lesson, then I called my mum immediately after leaving the classroom.
I wasn't intending on being upset over the phone, but she could tell, and when she asked about my mark, I broke and just started crying.
I feel like a failure.
Not only that, I also feel stupid. And I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing in law school. I don't belong here, I say to myself. Go do something else. Something you stand a chance at. Something that you're good at.
And I get slapped in the face by the following question : what am I good at?
Oh shit.
Hello dark void of depression.
What am I good at? I'm not good at anything. At least not that I know of.
I'm not good at sports, or at school, or in art, or in anything. So what do I do?
Well for the moment I guess I'm just going to have no carry on and hope for the best. And maybe, just maybe, I might land on my feet.
Please God, don't let me be completely screwed.
You is no tree but even a tree has a heart and soul. He's strong and happy just were he stands. For ever. You can be both. Stay, leave, move around, feel good. Feel good, good, good.
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